Words affect parenting style

When kids misbehave, what is the adjective to describe it?

‘Naughty’ ‘Bad’ ‘Stupid’ ‘Dennis the Menace’

Well the list can go on, what happens is that we are often stuck with only a few adjectives which we use, abuse and over-use. Sometimes, when parents are limited in their vocabulary, anything that the child does wrongly is ‘stupid’. And if we keep using this word for any and all misdemeanors, our kid might get the idea that they are indeed ‘stupid’.

The challenge for parents is to always keep ourselves 2 steps ahead of our kids, but more often than not, we are always trained to fight the last war. Our kids are evolving much faster than we can catch up and given a free rein, the world, their world is their oyster.

But we can never be giving them a free rein, we will always be there to shape them, bend them to our will, contort them to our expectations. And when we have limited words for our expectations, we will limit our kids.

So we need to educate ourselves constantly and find many, many ways to help our kids. The words we use, especially those in our head will have an affect on the world outside of us, and our kids are, part, a very big part of that world.


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